Welcome.
I extend my hand and heart to you as your attempts at recovery begin in earnest. Seemingly, everything has come to a crashing painful halt. I want to provide encouragement as you travel this long winding road of grief. I hope my thoughts bring aid to your wounds.
How are you faring today? ‘Just like yesterday,’ may be your reply. Perhaps you had a difficult night as darkness showed its face. ‘It’s different today,’ you murmur… Changing from a staunch upright position to a severe stumble may be part of your new reality; it is proof that you are feeling and dealing with truth. You are not failing; you are weathering the ebb and flow of your significant loss.
A favorite quotation of mine is from poet Robert Frost. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: IT GOES ON.”
Much as we resist, we simply must go on. One step at a time may be your best effort now; know your pace will change as you experience your new changes and choices. One step at a time is enough.
Now is the time to extend pure unconditional love to yourself. You can be the friend you need. Yes, you can. Allow no room for judgment. Self-nurturing is the gentle kindness sorely needed. Extend it to yourself. Ultimately, bits of healing may emerge. It grows from your effort. You are moving on.
I have always admired Nelson Mandela; I followed his advice; you may decide to follow it as well. After being released from prison in South Africa in 1990, he proclaimed: “Dont judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell and got back up.”
Allow yourself to know falling is but part of the process… then rise again. I believe it is not the passage of time that heals but rather what you do while time is moving on. May your actions support your goals while your heart heals as days become months and ultimately years.
ONWARD…
